Have Always

I have always loved words, how they flow together to create something beautiful or nonsensical. I have always had a journal going of everything I have ever heard and loved or something I read that touched deeper than my fingertips. There have always been two people who tend to make me feel more than I …

The Criteria

5.Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures or threats, or self mutilating behavior. 7.Chronic feelings of emptiness. My therapist asks on our routine check up, "Any thoughts of suicide?" I say no. "Any Attempts?" I say no. I feel lost. Where do I go from here? Is there anything? What happens when I don’t find anything? I feel …

The Cycle

After I have buried myself, I claw at the soil, undoing my handy work. I dig myself out, just to bury myself again. This is the cycle. I brush myself off, water myself to grow. Self care. Until I am mad at myself again. And it starts. I begin digging the hole. Crawling back in. …

Acceptance

Sorry I didn't write last week. Life is getting busier than expected. Recently, I have been writing all the symptoms I experience in a notebook. I bring it in to therapy and just lay it all on the table. I highly recommend this to anyone who has a mental illness. I find it easier to …