And when I say I love you, I think I do. But I've been here before. Same situation, different person. Thinking they're here to save me. But all I find is that no one can save a burning woman. Touch me and you will burn too. The only difference this time is I don't want …
Have Always
I have always loved words, how they flow together to create something beautiful or nonsensical. I have always had a journal going of everything I have ever heard and loved or something I read that touched deeper than my fingertips. There have always been two people who tend to make me feel more than I …
The Criteria
5.Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures or threats, or self mutilating behavior. 7.Chronic feelings of emptiness. My therapist asks on our routine check up, "Any thoughts of suicide?" I say no. "Any Attempts?" I say no. I feel lost. Where do I go from here? Is there anything? What happens when I don’t find anything? I feel …
Something I never said.
I can't tell you when it started. I don't think anyone really knows. But looking back I can recall events that scream, "you probably should have seen someone about that." Flashback to my 13th birthday when I wrote in my first diary. I had already been cutting for 6 months. Flash back to 16 years old …
The Cycle
After I have buried myself, I claw at the soil, undoing my handy work. I dig myself out, just to bury myself again. This is the cycle. I brush myself off, water myself to grow. Self care. Until I am mad at myself again. And it starts. I begin digging the hole. Crawling back in. …
